Your mileage may vary. Standard disclaimers apply. Don't eat the yellow snow. Offer not valid in Alaska and Hawaii. Keep away from children and pets. For internal use only. In case of contact, flush eyes with cold water and induce vomiting. For a good time, call (713) 555-1212. Rotate your tires. Consult your physician before use. Odds of winning 1 in 16.7 million. Has been proven to cause cancer in laboratory animals. Not for sale to minors. May the force be with you. Past performance not indicative of future returns. Read prospectus carefully before investing. Professional driver on closed road - do not attempt this at home. Light fuse and throw. Caveat Utilitor. Habit 7: Sharpen the hammer. Nails are glue. She's only happy when it rains. Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hanlan's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. When in Rome, be sure to ask directions in Italian. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. This is not an offer to sell securities. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits most. Many suitcases look alike. Colors may, in time, fade. For office use only. Use the source, luke. 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No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not use if safety seal is broken. Call before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this HTML could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or death. 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